Fuck you for telling me you fancied me. Fuck you for ringing me all the time to say goodnight. Fuck you for being so kind and charming.Fuck you for going from that to ignoring texts. Fuck you for hanging up on me cos your lass came in.
Fuck you for forgeting to pick me up that Friday after you promised and you knew how excited I was to see you. Fuck you for making me wish that I would die.
Fuck you for making me cry in the pub then sneaking out the back way without saying goodbye.
Fuck you for leaving me to go down to the river in the pitch black by myself so I could wash the mud off my knees after we'd been in the shelter.
Fuck you for never making me come.
Fuck you for looking at the scars on my wrist all the time.
Fuck you for using me for a shag. Fuck you for telling me that at the end.
Fuck you for stroking my hand and knee and face in the car back to your place. Fuck you for telling me you thought the world of me. Fuck you for kissing me really nicely.
Fuck you for barely looking at me after you shagged me. Fuck you for refusing to hold my hand in the car on the way back.
Fuck you for ringing me that night and telling me you'd made a mistake keeping me at a distance. Fuck you for telling me you wanted me, you wish I would feel for you what I felt for my best friends. Fuck you for telling me I had so much love to give. Fuck you for telling me how loyal and loving I am, fuck you for even thinking you deserved that, let alone asking for it. Fuck you for telling me everything would work out and we'd be so close and it would be so good.
Fuck you for ignoring me for a week after that phone call. Fuck you for ringing me and waking me up a week later and telling me you didn't want to see me again. Fuck you for saying there was no point in giving me your new number. Fuck you for warning me not to tell anyone in case your lass found out. Fuck you for cutting me off completely.
Fuck you for staring at my legs when we were watching the rugby. Fuck you for joining our table. Fuck you for barely stroking my back as you walked past. Fuck you for leaning your legs close to mine like you used to to see if I was in a mood with you. Fuck you for trying to get me by myself. Fuck you for not succeeding. Fuck you for not saying sorry.
And fuck you for looking so embarrassed when you saw me at nursery last week. Fuck you for not asking how I was. Fucking you for watching me the whole time I was holding the baby and letting her bite on my fingers because her teeth were hurting her. Fuck you for looking down my top when I was crouched down looking at a toy of one of the little ones. Fucking you for running past me after your son and shouting bye. Fuck you.
Fuck you.
(image-sex happy)
1 comment:
Wow.
It's probably odd to say this but, I love this post. I know exactly where you were in your head when you wrote it.
I've been there.
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